Dear Dad: It’s okay to call out your postpartum mood or anxiety.
- Dr. Divya Jain
- 25 minutes ago
- 2 min read
Dear Dad,
Are you having a rough go at finding your bearings after becoming a father? Most parents, moms AND dads, do. It’s hard with less sleep, more people to take care of, and so much unknown. Many things may be contributing to your adjustment to fatherhood. Have you been feeling some or all of these symptoms for more than two weeks?
Increased Irritability or Anger - Do you find yourself getting annoyed or expressing anger over things that wouldn’t have bothered you before?
Loneliness or Social Withdrawal - Are you feeling less interested in talking to others, like it’s too much effort to socialize, or a belief that others just won’t get your struggles?
Decreased Interest - Is it hard to enjoy your hobbies or time spent with your child?
Increased Hopelessness - Are you feeling inadequate, or like a complete failure?
Signs of paternal postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMAD) often go unrecognized, so don’t get addressed as they should be. Since perinatal services tend to cater more to the needs of mothers during and after pregnancy, it is common for fathers to feel left out and experience difficulty seeking help when they need it most.
Dad, please know that it is not “unmanly” of you to seek help. It will help you be the parent you want to be, to the best of your ability.
Paternal PMADs can manifest in many ways. Sometimes, when fathers begin to experience some or all of the symptoms in the checklist above, they also begin to distance themselves from their friends and family. This leaves them feeling alone in their pain and suffering. Have you begun to experience physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, stomachaches, or decreased libido? For some fathers, they physical symptoms are more prominent or easily recognized than the psychological ones.
Paternal PMADs can greatly impact the family dynamic, regardless of whether the symptoms last a few days or several months. The longer you take to seek help or allow others to support you, the longer these symptoms will linger and negatively impact your family. As you struggle to overcome your sense of overwhelm alone, your symptoms may continue to worsen because your feelings of guilt, resentment, or shame may begin to compound.
Please, don’t let your increased worry or depression impede your ability to bond with and raise your children. Strong attachment between fathers and children are important for your and their psychological health and cognitive development.
Dear Dad,
If you believe that you may be reaching a breaking point, reach out to a trusted family member, community member, or mental health provider for support. You don’t have to figure this out by yourself. And you are not weak if you don’t. Seek someone certified in perinatal mental health care, like Dr. Divya Jain. Or reference the list of certified providers on Postpartum Support International’s directory.
